I’ve not played this song in months, but in this moment, as it plays on my phone, my mind is taken back to when I’d shed ugly tears while it’s playing.
I can vividly remember – my laptop and me on the mattress that is now stationed in the living room back at home…
I was tired, confused and frustrated and I really felt like I’d lost my way.
Now thanks be to God who always causes us to triumph in Christ…
11:18pm| December 12th, 2023.
I’ve got a whole lot of things to be grateful for, I have a number of friends to whom I should give a vote of thanks, people who rocked my world when I lost the paddle in between the year, amazing souls whose virtual (in most cases) hands were wrapped around me in my moment of anger, frustration and pent up sadness.
These ones defined friendship to the untrusting me and I just hope that, for at least a moment in their lives, I was nearly the friend that they were to me.
Shout out to my buddies!
To you my Medium friend, thank you for embracing me with open arms. This year was my first attempt ever, at publishing something I wrote and I’m glad my usual rants and crazy thoughts were something worth your time.
Thank you! My success story isn’t complete without you because you’re my first fans (LOL)
2023 was a defining year for me.
It was the year in which if anyone had said, ‘oh, you’ve changed’, my response would have been, ‘fuck it, I grew!’ and Nasty C would be very proud of me😎
Boy, I did grow!
I came out of my shell and had the most difficult conversations, a tweet of Sam Otigba once mentioned how at some point in your life, you need to be an adult enough to have difficult conversations.
This became one of the mantras I had to live by in 2023 and one thing I realised is this; if they really care, they’d listen to you and a compromise can then be made. Also, what’s the worst to happen? They’ll cut you off. If they do, it shows they were probably never meant for you; it’ll hurt but it’s still gonna hurt, if not more, if you later realise that your friend was never your friend in the first place.
So, I had difficult comversations with even my family members (although after months and years of avoidance) and it greatly improved the dynamics of our relationship.
I questioned everything – down to my career. I was done doing things people deemed best for me. I left rooms I didn’t want to stay in anymore not because I had another option right in front of me. No.
Age 25 is such a big deal to me; and I needed to position myself correctly and I knew I must not wait till 24 to put in the work. So, on the road to 24, I took charge of my life, just for once. I stopped being a coward and while it was a rough (taking pay cuts, delving into something new, building publicly), I could brag that I have something, no matter how tiny or even irrelevant to you, to show for it.
I embraced new challenges, not because I needed to just survive, but because I wanted to channel my passion and strength into something I at least loved.
5:27am| 26th December; 2023
Spirit of Laziness, die by fire…
A part of me thinks this is unnecessary and I badly want to stop writing.
I woke up and saw an old picture of me. I love the picture, more because it’s a reminder of how things have changed in the past months.
On Career:
I began the year with a zeal to learn about Product – I have a list of people to thank for their push.
December 2022, I met someone who changed my life.
My usual self likes quick results; if I do not get results for my efforts, I easily quit but I didn’t this time and something good came out of it – ended the year in Operations and I love it.
It feels like the dots are finally connecting…
Hey you, thank you!
April 2023, I met another beautiful soul; this person… I wish they knew how much they mean to me. I’m so confident that God had to send them to me in my weakest moment.
I’ve always had great people in my circle, I only mentioned this two because their doggedness, perseverance, hardwork, sense of responsibility and ownership rubbed off on me greatly in 2023.
Shout out to everyone that kept me sane! A bigger one to T!
On Relationships:
First, I’ll start with the one that matters the most – God.
It’s been rough. But I want it to be better, and that’s why I want to maintain relationships that will help me in my relationship with God.
Tbh, it feels like I decided to work on the other aspects of my life and I just left God. I said in my heart, ‘Dear God, this isn’t the time for you, I need to figure things out’.
One thing I’m always in awe of is His patience.
“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”
II Peter 3:9 NKJV
God is patient!
These truths I now uphold with everything in me – God is patient, He cares for me, He is full of compassion and when you trust Him with your whole heart, not wavering, He will always come through for you.
Come 2024, I want to do better; I want to stay around people who share this same understanding of God and lastly, I want to share the vital truths about God and His son, with others.
God help me.
My other relationships – friendship, romance, acquaintance wasn’t so bad but there are some people I wish I’d never met.
I grew in my friendships too!
I’m usually judgemental and unreasonable in my dealings with people. I place people I like on a pedestal and get mad when they fall short.
Unfortunately? Or maybe not, I realised this towards the end of the year so this probably means that I gave my friends a tough time. Don’t worry, if we stay friends in 2024, I’ll be a better person…
I’m sorry it took me so long to realise I was the problem lol. Not like you’re perfect though… but yeah, put the blame on me! I’m Akon.
I met new people, strengthen bonds with old ones, went through a friendship breakup – I didn’t enjoy my Christmas, I hope I shake it off in time before the New Year.
Another beautiful thing for me is new relationship with BOJ, that’s my boss y’all😎
On Family:
My mum is still my mummy – we don’t fight as much as we used to.
My brother is still super annoying; he now has a girlfriend. I think I like her, although I really do not care and I mean that in a very simple way.
Most times, I’m quiet around people that I often come off as a snob. I just want to be on my own please.
My sister and I got closer. I left her house, January 2023 and totally stayed away because I felt I wasn’t heard and seen.
In August, I walked myself into that same house and laid myself bare. It went well. I’m glad I came back.
We’re not there yet, but there’s always room for improvement.
Hobbies
- I wrote more! Medium posts, mails, random appreciation notes to friends.
- I listened to more songs! From City Alight to Maverick City, then I went the way of the world😂
I was going through snap some days ago and was shocked at much I knew the lyrics of Seyi Vibes’s songs. You mean me?
Mohbad’s demise made me listen to him an insane number of times.
Omah Lay’s Reason was my road buddy.
My favourite songs from Nigerian artistes in no particular order are: Man of the Year, Reason, Remember, Sunshine although some new music emerged towards the end of the year.
6lack never left my heart and library and I think I fell in love with Dave towards the end of the year.
- I read books, watched movies.
- I complimented people more.
2023 was a good year, it wasn’t so bad.
Thank you 2023.
2024, you’ll be way better!
