Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Life is the misery we enjoy through disappointments.

Gold

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shit happens; people die, your fastest iPhone cord stops working at midnight, you blow that job interview, and your grandmother swallows pins on the 15th of every month, but life goes on.

You’ve been gunning for something for days that run into weeks, and then months. You’ve invested so much of your time into it and your heart’s not left out either.

One morning you wake up, and it’s gone.

Tell me, if you were told you would lose what you hold the dearest to your heart before the day breaks, would you rather aim to sleep and never wake up or you sit up, and watch over that special thing — your eyes strong and shining like your grandfather’s halogen lamp, with the hopes that if it’s within your sight, you would never lose it?

No one died — it’s something in me. Something is missing in me and I do not feel like me.

I’ve had crazy high hopes in people, in my feelings, in things and disappointment meets me at every turn and corner — like a constant companion in this shadow of life.

Yes, I’m not the girl I used to know.

Lately, when people complain about my weight loss, I’m almost relieved it’s the outside they can still see, meaning that my smile is still the brightest in the room, and my laughter remains the loudest amongst my clique.

It’s just another low of life, it gets better eventually…

I mean your life isn’t totally a mess and there’s always ‘one thing to be thankful for’. Tonight, I’m thankful for the internet.

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Gold
Gold

Written by Gold

Journeying through life and journaling about it here...

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