“when a poem loses its free flow, as a result of difficult words used”
It’s 2013, one of our Literary Terms and Appreciation classes in Literature where that Devil’s twin flogged us like we had been banished to hell.
Of all other definitions I was compelled to learn, this one was a fave because if you ask me, ‘cacophony’ as a word sounds so beautiful unlike the chaos it actually is, and that’s what would sum up my Q1.
Cacophony.
If you’re looking for a motivational Quarterly review, I’m afraid this is a waste of your time.
Me, I just want to write sth.
The year started and I promised myself a monthly review, something like an archive for detailing every experience of the previous month as they elapsed.
The first and only attempt I made was for the month of January and it still sits handsome in my draft.
Let’s digress a bit, I have a notion that January is a guy while February is a babe.
Already moved on from doing this since two weeks ago when I lazily shut my work laptop and even went through the stress of taking it with me to the mainland. However, on the 1st day of April, I got a distressing news; one that leaves me dazzled and frazzled. But I’ve recited this to myself over and over; “child of my mother, don’t break!”
Rather than wallow in self-pity, I decided that a reflection of what the previous months have been wouldn’t be a bad idea.
I will count my blessings, thank God for my pain and remind myself that I desire so much from life and there’s no point backing down now.
It’s really too late to allow fear win.
I’ll start with how I ventured into a relationship and took flight just a week after because of many reasons but the outstanding one being that, I played cowardice.
Let’s drop it there.
Okay, I’ll only add that he made my heart flutter and his smile was the brightest in the room and I’d trade anything to have him flaunt his slightly broken tooth at me once more. Lol.
Okay, moving on…
My career. Sigh.
Six months ago, I lied to myself that I would become a Product X Operations girl.
I’d do operations in the day and pursue product at night.
Now, gather around, let’s have a good laugh. Feel free to mock me, I already took the front seat.
Guess what? Six months ago, I also took a bold step to do something I’d never done before, and all I can say is, like fine wine, it really gets better with time.
Like AG baby, I’m learning not to be moved by whatever I see.
So yeah, I’m gonna push through but for the first time, I must say that I love my job, maybe a little too much though.
My relationship with God has been progressive. I started from begging Debs to wake me up every morning for T30 (she failed at it though) to waking up by myself.
I still sometimes feel the fatigue and I just want to keep my eyes closed but I’m grateful for the days my body jolts awake and there’s so much eagerness in my heart to fellowship with my Father.
We’re not there yet but I’m grateful God hears me, and He cares for me, and it shows. It really does.
Looking back, maybe Q1 wasn’t as chaotic as I thought it was.
It’s probably all in my mind. Or maybe I suddenly can’t remember, at this moment, some madness I must have experienced.
Maybe. Just maybe.
Q2 will be better, and the church says Amen.
